Dear Emi
by Floppiefish
Summary: A troubled young Naruto writes in a journal which he calls 'Toko' to record events in his life.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: My second fanfic. :D It's an A/U story. So people don't get confused. It's set in modern day times. I'm going let you read it first and see if you can make sense of it. I'm trying to do something different. Enjoy.

Update: I decided to make some very important changes(Even the title of the story is different). I included some things to have the story make more sense. Hopefully my readers like it better? If you like what I had going before or you have questions just let me know.

Naruto was a really troubled child back in the day. All he knew about his parents was that they died right when he was born. No one ever told him why. Naruto was moved foster home to foster home. No one wanted him. Strange things kept happening to him. Naruto was angry at the world. For some reason, he had a strange feeling that the world was against him too. Everyone was cold to him. Even some went as far as calling him a demon child. The situation was unbearable for a child of 7 to endure. For a long time he was in a dark place.

_October 16_

_Dear, Emi _

_Why? Why is everyone cold to me? No one sees me as a person but a monster. I see it in their eyes. Cold, dark, resentful eyes. What did I ever do! I do as I am asked to. I don't make trouble for others. I am a good boy._

_Why? Why? Why?_

_ God must hate me. He sent me to this world without any mommy or daddy. All the while people hate me for no reason! It's not fair. I can't help but cry most days when I'm alone. I can't make friends. I'm all alone. What, God, can I do! _

_What? What? What!_

_ I deserve happiness too! My boarding house is made of 20 kids who are afraid of me and 5 adults who resent me and tell the kids to fear me. Everyone thinks I'm a curse. Sometimes when I dream at night I get nightmares that end up happening. When something bad happens I always happen to be near-by._

_ I currently live in a strict Christian foster home. We wake up at seven for bible study then at eight we begin school until 4. It's sad. I see classmates talk to each other and none include me. They all are orphans as well. Alone in many ways, just like me. Only they're not alone! They have each other! While I stand alone in every way! I want to be liked so much it hurts! Until then I need express my thoughts somehow… So I'm telling you, my new 'buddy'. Rin, my landlady, would never give me anything let alone a journal so I had to steal one. I'm going to call you Emi. Your name means a beautiful blessing. This is appropriate for it's a blessing to be able to write down my thoughts and feelings when I have no one to talk to. Anyways, Rin is a middle-aged nun. She has watery blue eyes and an old face with lots of wrinkles. She didn't like me most. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in the sound of her voice. She avoids me as best she can._

_ I decided to write to you not only because I'm lonely but also because today too many things happened and I had to tell it to someone, or in this case write. On normal days I would ignore others to avoid disappointment. Today wasn't the same. It was playtime in the area and I was sitting alone in the sandbox when a ball went straight in my direction. What luck! I thought. I made a plan right then to use the moment and show them all I'm NOT bad! I was nice! A boy named Hikaru and some others came for the ball, shaking, once they saw it was me who had it. I give them a big 100-watt smile and said,_

"_Hey! I got your ball. It looks like you are all having lots of fun. Can I play too? I'm really good at soccer." I exclaim._

_Trying to ease them by being as cheery as possible. They stop trembling. I had hope. For 5 more seconds. _

"_Give us the ball quickly, monster. You are no good. Rin tells us we cannot play with bad kids." said Masaru, one of Hikaru's friends he was playing with. _

_He was older than us by two years. Fat and mean, he hated me. My face fell. This was to be expected. Everyone hates me. Only he was different. Not like the others, he never _feared _me. _

"_Well, I'm no bad kid. Just a regular one. I swea-" I would've gone on to say just how great I am and can play just like anyone else. I wasn't a curse._

_That is until he grabbed my shirt and slammed me into the sand, face first. _

"_Shut-up! You are evil. Everyone thinks it! Stop trying to say you aren't. Stop trying to talk to us. Stop trying to fit in. It won't work. No one likes you. You are alone."_

_Everyone gasped at the sight. He continued to punch me and kick me around. Once everyone saw I wasn't fighting back, they decided to jump in as well. No one stopped them. I myself was somewhere else. Numbed by his words, unable to feel anything. _

_Why? Why? Why? _

_ I wondered. I looked past the bullies, shocked to find Hikaru frozen. He looked conflicted. Almost like he wanted to help. Only he couldn't risk being turned on. We locked eyes for almost 5 seconds until he looked down. Ashamed. Serves him right! He wasn't being beaten! Once they were through, everyone went back to playing… As if I never existed and nothing ever happened. I laid there, face first in the sandbox, not thinking of anything. My numbness went away with new emotions to replace it, anger and pain. Anger and pain in my body, in my mind and even my soul. I didn't know I was crying angry, bitter tears until I felt wet sand on my face. Why am I alive? No one wants me. My own parents are gone. What's the point of living? Am I going to live the rest of my life like this? I cried out! Everyone was staring. They thought I went crazy! The strangest of things happened. Water exploded from the ground from where fountains used to be! I stood up and sand from the sandbox starting to fly around me! Wind picked up from nowhere in large gusts! Everyone saw what was happening. Kids of all ages ran in all directions. While on the brink of panic themselves, nuns ordered them to remain calm and to go inside. _

_I was still in my spot, not caring about what was happening. I was blinded by my emotions. I see Matsuru. I wave my arm in his direction and sent sand his way. Everything was so fast I didn't even notice what I was doing. I just wanted revenge! Sand wrapped around Matsuru! It constricted him so much that he turned blue. No one stopped me for they were too busy running the other way. Then that's when I look to my right and see a few steps from me Rin. She was as stiff and still as a doll. She just stared right at me. Her eyes were ice cold with a tinge of fear. She mouthed the words 'Monster.' I froze. Disgusted at myself. _What am I?_ My anger disappeared. I started to shake. I was terrified. How can I move sand to my bidding? My will fell apart and I began to cry, tears of sadness this time. I saw the water recede. The sand dropped back to the ground and the wind died down as well. Matsuru fell to the ground and knocked out. I gazed at the scene in wonder. What just happened? Although I wanted to help Matsuru, I felt a wave of exhaustion hit me and I fell to my knees and collapsed as well. My energy disappeared._

_Rin walked up to me, "I knew you were a demon from the moment I saw you. Go and clean yourself up. In a few days I will make sure you are far away from here. Guarded by experienced men who knows how to handle cases like you." She spat. I stared at her wide-eyed._

"_What does that mean?" I asked, scared. I was tired but hearing that shocked me. Some energy made it's way back to me. She didn't answer she just walked away._

"_Hey! Where are you going to take me? Please!" I shout desperately and run up to her, and tugged at her dress. Rin sharply turned to me._

"_Don't you dare touch me! Don't question me and do as your told. Now go!" she ordered._

_I stared at her for a few more seconds as she quickly walked away. When I turned around Matsuru was gone. I slowly trudge past the playground and to the showers to clean myself off. What is going to happen? When I got to the showers I look at myself in the mirror. It wasn't pretty. My blond hair was greasy and dirty with sand and some blood. My pale and skinny arms were covered in bruises as well as my legs. Six against me was very unfair considering my small stature. In general I was a tiny kid and one of the shortest in the class. My blue eyes were bruised as well. I had a few cuts and scrapes and my nose was bloody, but not broken. I looked pathetic. After looking at the end result I took a shower. Most of the blood and sand washed away but I was still in pretty bad shape. I decided to drop by at the infirmary. The nurse was a plain woman who didn't have much of a personality. I stay there with her often to try and escape class. When she first laid eyes on me she nearly had a panic attack_

"_Naruto! Oh my! What happened? You look awful," She gasped and immediately went to the cabinet for a first aid kit. _

_I just said how I got into a fight and not to worry too much about it. She nodded and got to work. I sat there silent. Waiting for her to finish._

_When I enter my room I see two large men. They were wearing black suits with a peculiar emblem that was in the shape of a fan. The top half of the fan was red while the rest was white. They were very serious and stoic-like. _

"_Are you Naruto?" Said man one. I nod._

"_We are to watch over you until preparations are set." Said man two_

"_What preparations? What are you talking about?" I asked, panicked. _

"_You are to transfer to an area suited for your 'kind.' An area where you can be monitored at all times. So until then we are going to watch over you." Said man two._

"_No way…" I said. I wasn't sure what else I could say. After they told me the news they said how I still could do things like normal only they had to follow. This even allowed me to write to you._

_I'm completely isolated from everyone now. We are all we have. It's fine. It's nothing new. We don't need others. I'm too different anyway. For example my mind is too quick for them. Half of the words I say wouldn't make sense to them. In my spare time I read books. I have lots of spare time so I read tons of books. I have a good head on my shoulders. It's impressive for a 7 year old. Maybe it has something to do with the strange things that happened to me today. Maybe they were all right and I am a monster. I feel lonelier than ever before. At least before I as able to say they are all wrong and I'm just misunderstood. Now I'm questioning myself. It's possible that I am what everyone thought I was and more. I think I might go insane from this negative environment. Even now some of my words don't make sense but one day everything will be clear. I just know it. It's time to put you away unfortunately. It's about 9 so I must go to sleep. Too bad. I have so many thoughts than I know what to do with. _

_Good night, _

_Naruto _


	2. Chapter 2

_October 29 _

_Dear Emi,_

_Today was unreal. I'll tell you why. I was in my play box once again. Ever since the incident life hasn't been the same. The two men I've met follow me everywhere. The thing is they don't talk to me, only when I might step out of line. No one even looks at me now. Not only are my bodyguards intimidating but after that faithful day I'm now everyone's fear. Even the nurse was scared of my existence once she heard about what happened. This though, is not the strange part. Im already used to being rejected from society. What was abnormal was the man who came by today to adopt. He had tanned skin, spiky hair in a ponytail, and a strange scar all along his nose. I ignore him. All adults seem to know of my status, or Rin makes it known to others. I believe I could never be wanted by anyone. He disappears for a long time. I thought he left. That is until he walked back into the playground. I was indifferent to his existence. Then it happened. He saw me and walked in my direction. I looked at him amazed that he was going my way. I was disappointed though, Instead of talking to me he marched right up to the two men!_

"_Excuse me gentlemen, I will be taking this child off your hands. I'm adopting him today." He stated matter-of-factly. My jaw dropped. What was even more surprising was the men's reaction to this man. They immediately bowed._

"_M-Mr. Umino, we don't mean to sound rude but we are on strict orders to-" Man two retaliated but was cut off._

"_Are you questioning a superior? This child is mine now and you henchmen can't stop me. I have legal rights to him and if your organization wants to fight for one kid then-"_

"_Yes we understand Mr. Umino." Henchman one said. "We will notify them that the problem is off our hands"_

"_Great!" Mr. Umino exclaimed as they left. My head was spinning. What just happened? _

"_E-Excuse me Mr. Umino?" the man dropped down to my eye level and said in a soft voice, almost like cooing a baby rabbit to keep it from running away._

"_Hello, My names Iruka Umino, you must be Naruto. I'm sorry that a lot of stuff is happening at once but everything's going to be ok" I gazed at him in wonder. Who was this man and why was he so nice to me? No ones ever been this nice to me. Was he really adopting me? I had too many questions at once so I ask the most obvious._

" _Why are you adopting me?" I ask._

"_Oh, did you not want to be adopted?" He questioned, surprised at my reaction to the news. His warm smile fell to a frown._

"_Oh no don't get me wrong! I've been waiting forever to even get noticed by a parent. Which is why I'm so confused. Why didn't you get scared by what Rin probably told you?" After explaining my worries, this man chuckled at me. "W-What's so funny!" I ask almost offended. Once he saw my expression he sobered up. He looked in the direction of the playground._

" _I can tell just by looking at you you've been through a lot." Then he looked at me directly in the eye._

"_Naruto I would love for you to be my new son, but only if you would like me for a new 'father'. What do you say? How would you like to live with me and get far away from here?" He said warmly. These words alone were the kindest I've ever heard. Someone wanted me to be their son?_

_I was so happy my vision even started to blur. Then I had to ask "But why? I'm no good. I'm a monster! Just the other day-" he stopped me right there by putting his hand up. His face had a somber expression, almost sad._

"_I know you are special. Not evil or a monster. You are going to be something great. Everyone here may call you a demon but I will never think of you like that."_

_I can't believe my ears. He was calling me a special and a great person? Me? This man wanted me to be in his life. There was only one answer to give._

"_Okay" I say firmly while giving the biggest smile of my life. Finally I am leaving this hellhole. _

_Iruka chuckled and said, "Hey now lets not cry. This is a time for celebration!" _

_I didn't even notice I was crying. I guess that was just how happy I was to finally have a family. I wiped my tears away. He grabbed my hand and we both headed to the main office to get my papers signed. I was lighter than air. I didn't know if this man was insane or not but I didn't question it too much. I had to wonder though. How can I live with so many people who hated me for no reason and then suddenly Iruka comes into my life accepting me when all he probably knew was what was wrong with me? As if sensing my thoughts Iruka said,_

"_The nun who takes care of you tried her hardest to tell me to avoid you. She nearly had a panic attack when she learned that I wanted to adopt you. She kept on ranting about how you were a 'Devil Child'. I laughed at her and said 'you must be off your rocker because all I see is a broken boy who needs love. If anything you are the Demon for taking away any opportunity for him to find happiness.' She scoffed at me thinking me insane. Her attitude confirmed my intentions. I had to take you in for my son. You deserve so much more than this shit hole with people like her trying to take you down. It's time for a new start. A new life!" He had such a look of determination that I could only respond with a large grin. _

"_Yeah!" I exclaim._

_For the first time I am happy. My new life begins._

_Until next time,_

_ Naruto Umino_

A/N: So what did ya'll think? It feels sort of fast but I think its meant to be that way because it was really sudden news for him. Anyways guys please don't be afraid to tell me what's on your mind. Do you like it? Hate it? Is it boring or interesting? I wont know how to improve if no one tells me what's wrong. Ideas to make it better are always welcome as well as constructive criticism. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

_October 31_

_Dear Emi,_

_ Life as I knew it is gone forever. Everything is going by in a hazy blur. It's as if I died and was reborn as Naruto Umino, the son of a pharmacist and the son of a man who enjoyed simple pleasures and was greatly respected in the community. A lot has happened since I last wrote to you. After Iruka had me adopted, which I may add during said time Rin continued to plead Iruka to reconsider as we got to the parking lot and into his jeep. 'Please leave the problem here so we cant take care of it properly! It's not human!', she said. Iruka refused to listen to her for which I was grateful. Nothing out of the ordinary happened to me since I first wrote you. Maybe it was a one time thing…or maybe not. Even so I wont let myself think of anything that reminds me of my orphanage days; this includes me thinking of the possibility that I might be a monster. Anyways, we left on his dark green jeep for about half an hour. When we stopped I saw it: My new house! It was a one-story yellow beach house that sat on a mini hill, overlooking the sea. It had a small wooden porch with white steps that lead to the front door. _

_My new home has 3 bedrooms and 2 ½ baths. Compared to my other 'homes' this place was heaven. When I first entered I immediately saw a small wooden table. What was peculiar about it was the picture that sat on top. It showed Iruka a woman and a child. The woman was beautiful. The child looked about a year or two younger than me. I was about to ask who they were but Iruka pulled me to the living room out of excitement of showing me around the house. After going through the entrance the space opened to a large living area. _

"_So what do you think?" Iruka questioned, almost nervous on my thoughts of my new home. _

"_Amazing" I say slightly above a whisper. It felt like I was in a dream. Unreal. Iruka smiled and said, _

"_I'm glad you like it. This is going to be your new home from now on so it's kind of important that you do. This is the living room and over there is the kitchen." _

_The living room had wooden floors and big wide white windows letting in lots of light. It also had a glass sliding door that showed the back patio. It had a small table with an umbrella sticking from the middle. I found out later that the patio had stairs that connected to a small path to the beach. Back on topic, the couches in the living room had a wood frame with sky blue couch cushions lying on top giving the room a tropical feel. The coffee table was the same wooden material as the couches. As decoration, the table had a blown glass vase with a green leafy plant inside. The walls were a light tan color and were covered with paintings to give the room personality. The living room connected to an open kitchen. The kitchen had marvel on the countertops. All the appliances were relatively new. In the kitchen there was a dark square wooden table that had four matching chairs surrounding it._

"_Now over here is your new room." He informed me as he ushered me past the living room to the hallway. We stopped at the first door. _

"_I must tell you this room was decorated ahead of time so if it's not to your liking we can change some things to fit your personality." He warned. I nodded with anticipation and open the door._

_ My new room was spacious. It had soft light blue walls with big white windows showing a fantastic view of the ocean. The windows had sheer white curtains on them. It had a relaxed feel to it that matched the rest of the house perfectly. Backed up to the center of the wall was a full-sized dark brown wooden sleigh bed. The nightstand and bureau matched with the same dark wood. The lamp had a steering wheel on the body of it. The walls were decorated with pictures of the ocean and sea animals. The floors were wooden. It was peaceful. Iruka walked in to see my reaction to the new room_

"_Well I don't know if you think its too cliché to have a sea themed bedroom when we live by the sea but I couldn't resist. If you don't like it though we could always-"_

"_No!" I interjected. "I mean, its fine. It's perfect!" I say enthusiastically with a big smile. Iruka chuckled at my reaction._

"_If you think it's fine that's great. I hope you can see this place as home. Now then, today is a beautiful day. Not too cold yet, how would you like to walk around town and get to know this place a bit better?" Iruka asked with a grin. I immediately agreed. _

_The best part about our house was the location. We were on the beach but a few seconds in Iruka's jeep and we were in the city. The city was called Konoha. It was very large and lively. Everywhere there was an event or a show or something. It was dizzying to go from a quiet foster home to a large city with thousands of people. _

"_I'm going to take you to one of the best restaurants in all of Konoha!" Iruka exclaimed full of confidence._

"_Where?" I ask full of curiosity._

"_You'll see. I hope you're hungry" When aren't I hungry. _

_After driving for 10 minutes we stop at a parking space and start to walk around. My anticipation grows by the minute. Finally we stop. I wasn't sure if I should've been excited or not. We stopped at a ramen restaurant called 'Ichiraku Ramen'. It was rundown and tiny. Its 'door' was five large curtains that stopped halfway so you could see the 6 chairs used to seat customers. Iruka seemed excited._

"_Here it is! You're going to love it. I promise!" I just smiled. When we sat down I saw only two workers, a man and a woman. _

"_Naruto these people are my friends Teuchi and his daughter Ayame. They run the shop by themselves." Iruka informed me._

_I say my hellos and they do the same. I always get nervous with introductions but they were very nice and open people. I was relieved. To my surprise the scene felt very homey. I order my ramen and no later than 10 minutes they were done. I wasn't sure if it was going to taste good. It smelled delicious though so I lay my skepticism behind and take the first bite. OMYGODNESS it was AMAZING. Every spoon full of ramen was total ecstasy. Iruka seemed to be having the same reaction to the ramen. We both ask for seconds. And thirds. And fourths. We were so full we couldn't see straight. Iruka paid for the tab. I feel bad because I knew it wasn't cheap. When I say this Iruka says not to worry about it. That it was his pleasure to take me to one of his favorite spots. Iruka thought every penny was worth it. Toko, I think I finally understood a little bit what having a father is like. The feeling of someone actually caring for you gives warmth inside. Makes you feel safe. I have missed out on so much it makes me determined to try to make up for lost time. _

_Everyday was a blessing for me. We went walking in the city. We went shopping for new clothes for I had none. We went to the park. We walked along the beach. We did so much in just a few days it boggles my mind. Today was Halloween so we went trick or treating. It was my first time. I dressed as up as superman. Iruka was the joker. I ended up going to lots of houses and as a result I got lots of candy. This is special for me because I never got the chance to trick or treat, for the foster homes that I stayed in were all Christian. They said Halloween was an evil holiday. When Iruka heard me say that he burst into laughter. Saying there was nothing evil about Halloween and the people in the foster homes were crazy. 'Halloween derived from a Christian celebration in the first place!' he shouted. I laughed. _

_Which brings us to now. Iruka says that I am to take a test revealing what grade level I fit in most with. Then I have to go to an actual school. I am scared of interacting with other kids. What if they don't accept me and shun me like I always was? I'm scared of rejection. I hope everything goes well._

_Goodnight!_

A/n: Well there's chapter chapter seemed a little skitzo, but I felt like adding the quality of being everywhere since this is a 7-year-old's journal after all. I feel like it was more believable that way. That so many things were happening at once he didn't know what topic to stay on. A lot of you, though, don't probably see it that way. Oh well. Anyways chapter 4 is on its way! :D If you want to put your two cents in or want to correct me or just to post a comment or SOMETHING, then don't be shy the review button is right there. Seriously. It's right there.


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